SHE'S smart, sharp, spirited and successful. Whether driving a spiffy car, multitasking on her Blackberry or managing an equity portfolio, the new-age high flyer is one busy woman.

A recent wealth management study says that "By 2020, women millionaires would outnumber their male counterparts, and that within 20 years, 60 per cent of the world's wealth would be managed by women."

But are men celebrating women's meteoric rise at the workplace and in business? Or does it hurt their macho pride that women should beat them at their own game, which is to bring home the more substantial bacon?

While some men are gung-ho about women breaking into the super-wealthy circuit and raking it in fast, others are either circumspect or plain unhappy about the imminent change of order.

It is evident that the curtains are fast falling on an era of male domination and lopsided wealth distribution. More and more companies in our country now have women in powerful positions. Fabulous? Not always, say sociologists. Women being too wealthy and successful has proved to be a new lifestyle malaise for some couples, especially in a country, where many men still fight shy of changing nappies and rustling up an evening meal. Marital problems can surface unless there is maturity all around. It's not uncommon these days to find women whose salary makes her the primary provider in a household. But often this stereotype reversal extracts a high price.

Take the case of Anaita, a high-flying, highly paid executive whose eight-month-old marriage ended in a divorce because her scientist husband couldn't handle her financial success.

"Men are not going to sit back quietly and allow this to happen. For hundreds of years, men have engineered a social structure and the empire will strike back if this were to change," says adman Prahlad Kakar.

Many men define their masculinity by how much money they earn and can begin to feel very insecure when their wives do better than them. Often, single, successful women choose to downplay their achievements to forge relationships.

Explains Dr Harish Shetty, psychiatrist and counsellor, Dr L H Hiranandani Hospital, Mumbai, "Some men don't mind helping out at home or looking after kids as they know their wives need their emotional support too. At another level, there are husbands who coach their spouses to get ahead. At the third level, there are men who tell their wives, 'You don't spend enough time with me', 'You don't need me'. Strangely enough, these are statements women made 10 years ago."

There are, however, cases when monetary success of the wife does not spell trouble in a relationship. Many women believe that more money in their hands per se cannot upset the marriage applecart or change existing personal equations. "We have to deal with changes that are happening. When two people bring home a salary, life can offer so many more luxuries. Men have to adapt to that. For me, trust, values, faithfulness and commitment are most important," states Diana Hayden, a former Miss India.

Says Aruna Newton, Head-Design, Infosys Leadership Institute, Bangalore. "In my case, how much I earn lacks importance in the relationship I enjoy with my husband. I need his emotional support and we don't discuss our salaries. At the end of the day, can a relationship be quantified? I believe that you could be the CEO of a company but you cannot outsource the home and the hearth!"

So, could the problem lie with the male of the species? Not if you ask actor Anil Kapoor. "I would love it if there were more women millionaires than men. It is a very positive thing to find that women are so successful as this will keep men on their toes too," quips Kapoor.

Though there are many heartening instances of men being comfortable or indeed proud of their wives' fiscal success, it certainly is not a universal truth. Says Revathi Rohira, advocate specialising in matrimonial cases, "Seventy per cent of divorce cases are filed because one partner feels inferior to the other."

"I believe that the husband should provide materially and the woman provide emotionally in a relationship. When the woman suddenly becomes powerful, it can become a challenge for the couple and has to be handled with care," believes actor-model-singer Raageshwari.

Then there are women who obviously wouldn't mind being among the riches, but who have an issue when it comes to their spouses earning less than them. "In so many companies, the top person is now a woman, like Indra Nooyi of PepsiCo, Kiran Mazumdar Shaw of Biocon and the top guns at ICICI. It's great for our egos to know this. But, speaking strictly for myself, I would not like to marry anyone who earns less than I do, not because I have a problem, but because my peers, friends and society might," confesses actor Bhairavi Goswami.

From a sociological point of view, women getting financially powerful is a crucial period in the world. "We should accept these re-defined roles, the positive effects of the change, and live in harmony," is sociologist G K Karanth's sage advice.

Actor Chunky Pandey welcomes this change of guard, saying, "I believe that when women become more powerful, there will be fewer wars and a much kinder world to look forward to." Touché!

asha.chowdary@timesgroup.com