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 need to send depressed guy back to nepal... help ??

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Posted on 12-20-11 3:47 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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 hi to everyone,
 
 
    there is a friend of mine in depresssion, he has been in the states for little over 4 years.... his situation can't be worst than this.
 
.. to explain, he quit college 2yrs ago, he wrecked his car while driving under influence, doesn't speak at all about the problems, cries often, don't eat anything, short circuited his laptop by spilling wine over,no showers,sleeps day and night, walks to the nearby grocery store to get  wine and gutkha  early in the morning while other are asleep. all my friends including his own cousins are totally tired and can't take this anymore. he owes more than 4 months rent and groceries close to $ 1000 per guy. his depression,thoughts, manners, almost zero english skills are disliked at workplaces so in past few months he couldn't stay in  jobs more than a week..  at this difficult time our small circle of close friends and his relatives have decided to do whatever it takes to send him to nepal at the least cost. but he totally denies to go to nepal, he would rather be homelesss here in states. his family is not supportive either. 
 
this is the case wid him. we at this point are looking for ways to send him back.  we would be more than happy to hear  coool sajhaities opinions, ideas, similar experiences and advices...   thank you alll and happy holidays... 
 
 
   
 
Last edited: 20-Dec-11 03:57 PM

 
Posted on 12-21-11 11:37 AM     [Snapshot: 1308]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Whats his name?


 
Posted on 12-21-11 12:14 PM     [Snapshot: 1372]     Reply [Subscribe]
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The guy is over 21 years old and he has already made a decision. He would rather be homeless than go back to Nepal which, by the way, is a good news for "Citizen of Nepal". The guy is looking to live off the incomes of the room-mates as long as he can. Or is he waiting for his final day in your very apartment? Remember, he does not eat anything.

The situation could get worse. You need to talk to this grown-up for the last time in a caring way but with a clear warning. If he does not get a job and chip-in his fair share, you should grant his wish which is to become homeless.

 
Posted on 12-21-11 12:22 PM     [Snapshot: 1402]     Reply [Subscribe]
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@Kundan Ghimire

You and your lower middle class mentality.

I am sure you will find it hard to digest but not all Nepalis live with infatuation for going abroad.

I am sure, those who do, come from your family tree.

Looks like you come from the lower rung of Nepal's social strata where it is rare to meet people of any significant standing. Or else, you would know that there are good many Nepalis who are upteempth times richer than your average American and who spend their valauble time on more productive and dignified endeavors than wasting it on demeaning act of giving up one's own identity and nationality in exchange for another for monetary gains.

And so, good luck and don't came back.

We don't want you losers back in Nepal.



 
Posted on 12-21-11 12:32 PM     [Snapshot: 1412]     Reply [Subscribe]
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@Raju161

Unlike popular belief, not all Nepal bandhs are bad.

It would be awesome to have a perpetual "Nepal Bandhs for NRNs and losers" like yourself. Huh?

How about that?

stupid retard.

 
Posted on 12-21-11 1:00 PM     [Snapshot: 1428]     Reply [Subscribe]
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First thing is to take him to DETOX, its like $30.00 a day and will be done in 2 to 3 days. If he doesn't have any money  then skip this step and ask or pressure him to attend free AA meetings (google  for center around your area).
 
Posted on 12-21-11 1:03 PM     [Snapshot: 1502]     Reply [Subscribe]
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So Nepal bandh is good? What a patriot wanna be?!!!

 
Posted on 12-21-11 3:01 PM     [Snapshot: 1689]     Reply [Subscribe]
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take him to the nearest Physc ER or Trauma center they will either  take him as in-patient or if the condition is not serious, then they let him go home and give him out patient appointment. 
only private clinic ask for money or insurance not public they will send bill to your address later. (In case of NY)

Or give him a pot that will solve all problem in the world. 



 
Posted on 12-21-11 3:12 PM     [Snapshot: 1735]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Dimebagkale,

We need to first diagnose the nature of the problem before we suggest solutions. I know many Nepalese who suffer from depression who live in both Nepal and America. Simply shuttling people from one country to another is not always the solution.

All the symptoms that you have mentioned so far match this issue:
http://sajha.com/sajha/html/index.cfm?threadid=94871#846293

Are there any more symptoms that your friend suffers from that you have not mentioned?

Last edited: 21-Dec-11 03:16 PM

 
Posted on 12-21-11 6:46 PM     [Snapshot: 2008]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 पैलो कुरो citizen of nepal लाई: बाबु, नेपाल न तिम्रा हजुरबाउको बिर्ता थियो, न तिम्रो बाउकै थियो, न त तिम्रो नै हो। दिमाग सन्किनी कुरो नगर के! तिम्ले आइजो भन्दा आउनी, नआइजो भन्दा नआउनि हामी के तिम्रा घरमा पाल्या भान्से भन्ठान्या? कि नेपाल छोराको नाममा पास गरेर अंश दिने सुर छ? कि छोरीलाई पेवा दिएर पठाउन लागेउ र नआइजो भन्या? अनि नेपाल बन्द गरेर खूब राम्रो काम हुन्छ रे? स्याल मोरा, मान्छेहरुलाई सास्ती हुनी काम त किन राम्रो लाग्दैन थ्यो र तिम्लाई! कुन दिन आफुलाई पर्छ, अनि चेत आउँछ। बि. ति. दब्लु: नेपाल मेरो हो, यहाँ नआइजो भनेर लालपुर्जा नै देखाउँछौ भने नि आउँछु। इन्द्रेका बाउ चन्द्रेले नि रोक्न सक्दैन, तिमी नाथे भन्या त भुसुनो बराबर! 

होमे"जि", तिमी चाँही के निहु पाउँ कनिका बुझाउँ भन्या जस्तो नगरन, जुन धागोमा गए पनि आफ्नु धागोको बिज्ञापन गर्न थालीहाल्छउ! तैट्, एस्ता मुला बकम्फुसे पारा!

dimebagkale,
based on what you said, seems like your friend rather reckless about his life than depressed and homesick. if he is homesick, why does he not want to go home? i feel like he is just too lazy to go to school, work, and live his life up to the standards. or, it's also possible that he was depressed and home sick in the beginning, but now doesn't care about anything at all because of severe depression and mental conditions. i bet you have already tried it but it won't hurt to do it again. talk to him when he's sober. persuade him to return back to nepal. if he doesn't agree, his family must take responsibility. let them know that their son won't live longer if the situation persists and ask them to make arrangements for his return or rehab, whatever is feasible.
it's really expensive here, and if you are student too, there is no way you can keep on feeding him and pay his rent. you better get rid of him (in a proper way, of course) as soon as you can.
 
Last edited: 21-Dec-11 06:47 PM

 
Posted on 12-21-11 7:24 PM     [Snapshot: 2063]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Jantarei,

I understand what you are saying. Excessive promotion of your own thread when it is not relevant can get annoying. I agree with you.
But in this case, I did think it was relevant. I will let Dimebagkale make the call. All the symptoms he mentioned so far seemed to point to the issue in that thread. I apologize to you if you feel it is irrelevant.

In anycase, I think that most of the advice that you gave Dimebagkale is pretty sound. I think it is because you come from the healthcare back ground that you are able to give such good advice. We need more people with background in healthcare like you.
Last edited: 21-Dec-11 07:25 PM

 
Posted on 12-21-11 7:36 PM     [Snapshot: 2063]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 @Citizen of Nepal: 

The Nepalese economy is not self sustained economy and I think you should understand the importance of the workers abroad and their contribution to the nepalese economy who are injecting more than 70% of the money in the country. The livelihood of the nepalese in Nepal has not increased suddenly its the cumulitive affect of the economy which saw a surge in the money coming into Nepal from abroad. People started spending money and the businesses are proliferating and the people in the kathmandu are also getting richer.  I think we all should understand different aspect of a matter before jumping into a conclusion and try to think wisely rather than bickering.

Not all the nepalese people know political parties people or the INGO s chief guy to get a job in Nepal, most of them have their own problem a common problem to give food shelter and a good education to their children. If Nepalese economy and the environment was good enough then most likely people will love to stay in their homeland rather than wonder around. Moreover we should change our thinking process also, we think cleaning restroom in nepal is bad than cleaning it outside, selling grocery in nepal is shyful than in US, or working in nepali hotel is shameful than working in cruise, ...... so many things to write you guys will be bored!!!!

 
Posted on 12-21-11 8:56 PM     [Snapshot: 2218]     Reply [Subscribe]
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i appreciate everybody for their opinions. sorrry i couldn't response earlier.. @ bittertruth... no he is not in NY.. @ sriprakash.. lets not reveal his name. its better this way..   i personally like advices from jantarei, tm,stiffler,

poo-nam & chilii: we are not in position to spend another dollar on this guy but still thanx for the advices.
rethink does have a solid advice but  we have no such strength to report to INS.. moreover  i heard obama passed this bill which will prioritise & deport only felons..

thanx again..

 
Posted on 12-21-11 9:58 PM     [Snapshot: 2290]     Reply [Subscribe]
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My 2 cents for you

You all(roomates) need to talk to him in a decent way only when he is not drunk. There is no point talking with a drunk person so next time when you see him just talk to him first . As a human being we have to be hel ful to other people but  there would be always a limit as we have to feed ourselves too.  Try as musch you can to, coperate with him and also warned him that you guys gone throw him away if he keeps doing like that. He needs to understand that to get help he needs to help himself first. If he doesn't want to understand it and willing to be a homeless then that would be his choice. Of course you would feel bad for him but there is nothing we can do.

So the fist step would be for now is talk to him , make every thing clear to him and give him a chance to correct himself. And keep updating us

God may bless that soul.


 
Posted on 12-21-11 10:05 PM     [Snapshot: 2290]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Don't listen to this freak so called citizen of Nepal. It's like u r talking with a wall where you would get the same response every time nmw u tried to make him understand in whatever way.
 
Posted on 12-21-11 11:17 PM     [Snapshot: 2381]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Homy**ji to janture: "I think it is because you come from the healthcare back ground that you are able to give such good advice"

Looking at the expertise of janture in every thread that's pups up in regardless of their nature I am darn sure he is still In the background. He does have an ability to use google very effeciently though, no doubt abt that.
 
Posted on 12-21-11 11:26 PM     [Snapshot: 2416]     Reply [Subscribe]
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@bittertruth

I am pretty sure I earn more than you.

So I don't see why I should envy you being there.

LOSER !!
Last edited: 21-Dec-11 11:26 PM

 
Posted on 12-22-11 12:49 AM     [Snapshot: 2488]     Reply [Subscribe]
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mahodaya dimebagkale sir,
                                             aajkal ko yo selfish jamana ma tapaile tapai ko sathe mahodaya lai kina sahayog garna lageko tara mahodaya dimebagkale sir  le lehaono bhaeko topic chai ramro cha hai . there is different between friendship acquientence close friend family etc etc hami le sathe le sathe lai chora le bau lai man power le sojha sajha lai lalai phakai garera chuna lagaera thageko dherai suneka chau ra bhogeka chau

                                              moving back to the topics us is land of opportunities according to many people so its not good idea to support the idea to help him leave us . bicharo bhakhar 21 barsha ko fuchhey rahecha pachey nepal gaera sudhrera khatra bhaera sab jana sathe or acquientance haru lai sale haru ko kura sunera aaunu pario jhare nepal fataha haru badar le aafno ghar ta banaodaina aarkako ghar pani banaodaina bhanera sarapio bhane ke jabaph dino huncha tapai le ho ki hoina bhannus ta . its ok to not take bath for 2-3 weeks unless someone tell ur gross its ok to go to pasal in the early morning drink beer and gudkha its perfectly legal unless he is below 18 
                                              mahodaya dimeback sir the only problem ur friend have i think is he is broke and have no money at all i suggest ur friend mahodaya dimback sir to tell him to work his ass off and make some money or take loan from his parents by selling land in nepal and relax and enjoy his miserable life. 

                                                                                                                                                                                                        yours sincerely,
                                                                                                                                                                                                        intelligent guy 


 
Posted on 12-22-11 6:17 AM     [Snapshot: 2600]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Offcourse So called Nepal Citizen is moron. hamro Nepali ma ukhan cha ni sathi. " Hilo ma dhunga hane pachi aafai lai hilo parcha bhanera" same appilies to this moron, as per my background, I am preety sure all of my family is well educated and well balanced than your you  stuid moron and I believe Personally you are nothing than big mouth looser.

 
Posted on 12-22-11 6:18 AM     [Snapshot: 2603]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Yes bitter truth Nepali citizen is right . he earn more than you . You might earn 5000 US$/month and this guy earn 15000NRS /month. He is earning more than you. LMAO.

 
Posted on 12-22-11 7:09 AM     [Snapshot: 2640]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 sargent: I rarely use google while responding to the threads on sajha. But when I use it, most of the time it is just to check the meaning of some "big" words that I use less frequently - just to make sure that I'm not making a fool out of myself.

but you're still right - I do use google a lot to learn about things (esp. science).

 



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