@Jantarei, Is it true that you work in the healthcare field? So in that case, you have the most experience here amongst us to give suggestion.
I like your idea of using a combination of approaches. Can you be more specific about what that would practically look like? What do you mean about using a combination of approaches? How would it help this depressed guy?

Intelligent guy, I don't think that the blinking of the eye was *caused* by the father beating. This is what is written in the story:

Finally, when he is about 15 years old, his parents took him to a doctor. The doctor did a thorough checkup and said, "Oh my goodness, this boy’s eyes have been getting successively worse year after year. That is why he has been blinking so much. Why didn't you bring him to me much sooner? He should have been wearing thick glasses years ago. Now this issue has caused permanent damage to your son."

yeah...i'm in the healthcare field but i too have limited experience.
what i meant to say is that if you do just one thing to the guy, it most lileky won't work. say, you scold him every single day, or even every single time you see him. you blame him for all the wrongs and his present situation. that'll probably make him more violent. he might think that nobody cares anyways, so there's no bad in worsening the situation that's already bad. on the other hand, if you praise him, speak nice words all the time, he might take advantage of that. say you show care towards him, keep on paying his rent and keep on feeding him without saying anything bad. that'll make him more like a parasite. he'll keep on sucking you.

i think, he needs someone he trusts and can't say "NO" to, generally. could be his mom, dad, lover, best friend, anyone. somebody needs to make him aware of his present situation compared to the past (which hopefully was better), and question him how he wants his future to be. if he doesn't care where he'd end up, i don't think much can be done. but if he wants to get in a better position and is wiling to put his effort, maybe he'll get back on track. more about combination of things (given that he is wiling to work hard): help him with his rent and stuff but give him certain duration to find a job and maybe even help him find a job; show him the good sides of having income. since he's out of school for 2 years, i bet he's out of status and he doesn't want to go back. saying that you will complain to DHS and immigration services if he doesn't start looking for a job might get him moving.

praise him for even small things he does. let's assume that he lies on his bed all day. if he even gets up and goes out for a walk, that's a good start. encourage him into physical activities - take him to gym with you, or play soccer and stuff. and when he does something good, say that it was great, get him going. i don't know what else to say; i don't know the person and his condition. his roommates know him better, they can try these and many more things to get him back in track. but if the guy himself doesn't show any interest and wants lo live on his roommates' expenses, it's better to ask his parents to take responsibility of him or report him to DHS and hope that he gets deported.

i saw another thread come out just a while ago on the same issue. it seems like people come here to the states with much higher expectations and some people like this guy break down when they don't get that. or, they are simply spoiled kids back home trying to get away with their habits here as well.

Jantare,

Your reply was amazing. I have no problem in admiring the positive in the words you wrote even though you could not appreciate the positive in the words I have written on this thread so far.

As they say, "Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder." So that means I have more beautiful eyes than you do. Please don't be envious of my beautiful eyes, ok? I suggest you do eye surgery and make your own eyes beautiful.

Anyway, I agreed with your prescription. You are right.

On one hand, if people only give Sanjeev only negative feedback, he will become demoralized and rebellious. That is exactly what happened to him when all his father could do was abuse him. And you are right in saying that if all people do is be sensitive to his problems, he will become a parasite on them and never improve his condition. Well said.  

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinforcement#Positive_and_negative_reinforcement

I agree with you that Sanjeev needs someone strong in his life that he can trust. He needs a mentor. He needs a support system that is looking out for his long term interest. He needs practical guidance from authority that he can have confidence in.

Jantare, I really liked how you approached finding a solution to this problem. It was a well-thought out solution.

 On the other hand, in saying all of this, perhaps I am actually lying to you just to be popular with you. What do you think?

well, glad that what i wrote makes sense but i don't buy your sanjeev's story because:
- you lied saying that you know the guy and what you wrote is his story
- the fact is you lengthened a story that circulates on facebook and presented as yours

and these two points were what i was saying before but your couldn't get the message. and i can't do any better

I am actually fascinated that this story circulates in facebook. Can you post the link please? I am going to sue the person who is circulating this story for copyright violation.

Jantare,
I know Sanjeev very well. You are right in saying that he is a good person at heart who didn't have all the advantages that people like you and I did while growing up. When Sanjeev reads the words of advice you wrote to help him, on this thread, he will be very touched. Sanjeev will be very grateful knowing that you, Jantare, are looking out for him, when he cannot look out for his own interest because he is depressed. I know this for sure.

 i tried to search that article in facebook didn't found it well i ain't judge and i ain't judging anyone
kunai rog lageko cha manasik tanav cha rog byadha cha saru wa rog lageko cha chinta nagarnos jhakri cha tapai haru ko sewa ko lagey jhak ri le sab rog niko parcha aushadey le niko napareko rog jhakri le thik parcha poisa pani thorai lagne sasto rog byadha je rog lage pani dhami jhakri le thik parno huncha 
                       , moving back to topics, mahodaya dimbagkale until and unless doctor , jhakri , baidhya  approves ur friend is depressed he is not depressed . 

intelligent guy, this my fren has been under medication of depression for more than 5 yrs.. he orders his medication from nepal..

i  heard a similar story about raman pandey in newyork.. its sad to hear these kinda news. here is the link.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=2GymESDgJaU

or

https://youtu.be/2GymESDgJaU



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