Really funny..........Thanks for sharing.... Here I am also sharing from my side:

Wife To Husband: Agr Dunya Sirf 30 Minutes Me Khatam Ho Rahi Ho
Tou Tum KIa Karna Chahoge..... ??

Husband: Offcourse "SEX"....!!!

Wife: Aur Baqi 29 Minutes..... .... ??

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Santa comes bleeding. Banta: What happened?
Santa: Jaggu hit me with hammer.
Banta: Didn't u hv anything in ur hands?
Santa: I had.
Banta: What?
Santa: His wife's boobs!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Lecturer in a medical college class: Man's semen contains glucose.

One of the female students had doubt and she asks: Then why it
doesn't taste sweet?

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Thought for the happy life: Patni agar pati ko naukar samjhe to pati
ko kya karna chahiye?

Zyada kuchh nahi... do char ghar aur pakad Lene chahiye!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

A Newly Married Couple Seeking Divorce...
Judge asks Lady "Why do you want divorce?"
Lady: Despite Knowin That I'm Vegetarian, He Forces Ne To Put Meat In My Mouth!!" ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

What do woman usually say after Sex?

I Luv U?
Wrong!

That was great?
Wrong again!

I Luv it?
Aray Nahi Yaar....

Sahi Jawab Hai: Suno Meri BRA PANTY Kaha Rakhi Hai......... . ;->

Cheers

Conversation in American Embassy

Parts of the conversation in American Embassy between the Visa Oficer and a Nepali aplicant for a visa:
O: All your responses must be oral, OK?
A: OK
O: What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
After a short explaination, the conversation continued:
O: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
O: What year?
A: Every year.

 

370HSSV-0773H

Bush got a coded message from Saddam. It read: 370HSSV-0773H.
Bush was stumped and sent for the CIA. The CIA was stumped too,

so it went to the NSA. The NSA couldn't solve it either, so they

asked Bill Clinton. He suggested turning it upside down!

enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Two guys, Osama Bin Laden and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each of you one wish" says the Genie.
Osama Bin Laden said: "I want a wall around Afghanistan, so that no infidels, Jews or Americans can come into our precious state."
With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around Afghanistan.
"Uncle Sam" (a former civil engineer), asks: "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."
The Genie explains: "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out."
Uncle Sam says: "Fill it with water."

 

                                                       have a nice weekend guys.

so this should be the right thread for this image.

I dunno if i've lost it ,but i really can't stop laughing at this:

Found this on my in tray some days back:

• Pappu- while filling up a form:

   Dad, what should I write for mother tongue.?

  Santa: Very long!

• A small kid wrote to Santa Clause, "send me a brother". Santa wrote back, "send me ur mother"
  

• 2 people sit in a  coffee house.
  1ST- Drink fast, the coffee will get cold
  2ND- so what?
  1ST- stupid! read the menu
  HOT COFEE RS.20 & COLD RS.40...

 


DAD....

A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up.

Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad." With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

"Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.

I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, John.

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on my desk.

I love you!

Call when it is safe for me to come home.

cheers guys!!!!!!!!!!!

rmxyz, you left your joke incomplete...Lemme complete the 2nd part:

Lecturer in a medical college class: Man's semen contains glucose.

One of the female students had doubt and she asks: Then why it
doesn't taste sweet?

The professor replies, "Because your tase buds are located on the tip of your tongue, not at the back of your throat".  After this, the red-faced student runs outta the class too ashamed to utter a word!! 

Poor guy

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"

 

 

 

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the....
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet...................................

 

Son: Dad, what is an idiot?

Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange

and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him.

Do you understand me?

Son: No.

Girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  don't read it.

somebody sent me an email.

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.



She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.



The frog said to her, 'If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three
wishes.'



The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, 'Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.



Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!'



The woman said, 'That's okay.'



For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.



The frog warned her, 'You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to'.



The woman replied, 'That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me.'



So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!



For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.



The frog said, 'That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you.'



The woman said, 'That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine.'



So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!



The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, 'I'd like a mild heart attack.'



Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.



Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.



Male readers :
Please scroll down.



...

The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.



Moral of the story : Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.





Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.



PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen ...now run along and put the kettle on, there's a love.