Today morning I had a serious discussion with one of my friends, Mr. A, . We r like friends if we consider age just as a number. Well, he was pretty upset with upbringing of his own children. Being a working couple they have very less time for children. Surprised, they both are (esp father) how quickly they have adapted Western lifestyle, refusing to speak (to learn) Nepali and not even respecting elders (relatives).

I have known Mr A for last two years though we have not met in person. I know, he has deep respect and strong emotional attachment for his motherland. We happened to meet through NRN website where he and some other older folks were trying to do something for mother Nepal. Since then we r exchaning mails and talking onlines, (mainly criticizing those politicians). He has suggested me many times regarding my studies and other practical stuff. In return, I update him abt latest happeings in Nepal.

He is very much worried about his 2 children whom he wants to teach Nepali culture, want them to know where they have come from, their roots and finally do something for country. But its only his wish, he cant force others (even though they r his children). He is in middle of nowhere, cant leave job (works for INGO). Children dont have favourable environment for cultural education.

He says children felt uncomfortable to talk to Grand parents who call from Nepal just to hear their voices. They want to have western identity, forget abt all that. They hardly talk in Nepali even with parents.

He has shared his one and only option to send back kids to Nepal for a year or two (boarding schools). He says if circumstance is not favourable one of the parents is ready to accompany them to Nepal. I was really puzzled after hearing all of these.

Children- Two boys (8, 13), left Nepal 6 years ago.

Then I asked myself, is he the only one facing such problem? I realised to bring this topic in Sajha.

Please share your views.

Thank you for your time.

Amazing,!  This is a very serious problem we are facing now.  We are in a situation " middle of nowhere".  Neither we can accept the situation which makes our kids American nor we can keep our kids away from their surroundings.   The main thing is you are the one who worries about your kids the most.   If we can somehow make our kids proud of being different than others (Especially being a Nepali), that would probably address this problem to some extent.  I don't think sending a 8-year boy to a boarding school back home is a right solution.  You are the one who can teach your kids the best.  I have seen lots of parents enjoying more when their kids forget their native language.  

wel mr amazing,, actually it depends upon the parents too whether they really want their children to learn nepali culture or not? if they really want than why they didnt did it from the very beginning...being nepali also they didnt even try to teach them nepali as soon as they r born.. last time one of my friend in california told me about one incident.. he works in a convenient store. One day a nepali lady come to her store with two kids and looking at her face face my friend ask her whether she was nepali or not. and as soon and that lady knew that my friend is also nepali she was so surprised and happy too. she was newar community girl who has been living in US from last 10 yrs and her husband is german. the surprising thing is that both of their children can speak german, nepali and newari very well and of course english too.. tats how thwy are brought up.. my friend was shock when that child speaks newari so well at US but that how it is... its all upon the parents how they want to grow up their child.....

i dont think sending them to a boarding school is very good  idea cuz u r just distancing yourself frm them what good is that gonna do

most kids just want their parents attention that’s why they act out and no matter wht they say to u, u r really the coolest person to them. They will argue with u at home and then they will go out and argue with others defending ur ideas. Just spending quality time with them is the best idea. U dont have to leave ur job just anytime is good time I think

Plus I don’t like boarding school/ hostel many kids get raped and molested beaten up they are not emotionally healthy just imagine kids living with kids with minimum supervision. Ani supervision garnewala was a molester (we have many of those in Nepal trust me)

Wht if that happens to his kids. They will really dislike Nepal and not just Nepal they will hate their parents after that.

U brought them into this world u have promised to protect them be there for them and it is ur responsibility how they turn out. Sending them to be raised by someone else will just mess them up even more.

Ani all 8, 13 year old kids are trying to figure out their identity I think we all were too. U argue with ur mom and dad and u don’t want to do anything they say that’s how u behave at that age

Most important of all ur kids should turn out to be good decent human beings and they cant without u always there at least when they r kids.

 

Please don’t send ur kids to be raised by others it has devastating consequences.

 

Yokun--- its true newari ppl are very good at teaching their kids their langauge and culture. i am gurung and i cant speak my language b/c my parents never taught me i wish i could though

 

I have also seen many nepali parents who still feels proud when their kids speak in english.  i always told them this, do not make this a big deal.  english is a language and even you dont want them to learn or speak english or learn western culture, they will eventually learn  in short period once they start going to school.  so, it is your duty to provide enough information about our culture, religion and speak nepali language at home and take to temples once in a while if you really want to them to learn about nepali society.  involve them in nepali gathering, encourage them to speak in nepali.  once they grow up, they will feel unconfortable to speak in nepali as they will have heavy accent, however, keep on encouraging them to learn our culture.  if you can, take them to nepal in vaccation.